How do I do this?

Hello Hoomans!

Another big gap in these posts updates!

At least it hasn't been a year since I last wrote something. I really think that I've lost my passion in writing but every time I start writing posts like this, it just comes naturally for me. I can just type anything and I always end up with a decent length post.

What does this prove? Maybe I can still write and I still have at least a little bit of passion in writing but that doesn't mean I can write whatever whenever. I've been trying to continue writing a story I was working on for a while now but I just can't seem to write anything.

I always just stare at the blank page and the story plays out in my head. I can't put them into words, I guess. But, I can do this -writing this blog. Maybe it's because it's my own thoughts. There's nothing fiction in what I'm writing. I don't lie about my life. I just don't give much away, of course.

I have seriously been thinking a lot about what I'm doing with my life. Especially now that I have just recently finished another job in the film industry. I can't keep working like this and think that it will be fine. I will get more jobs after this.

The fact is that I know it's a long shot. I might not get involved in this industry in a while starting now. It's not just because I'm suuuupperrrr tired from my last job, it's because I have only been working under one person this whole time.

No one else is offering me jobs and I know that ain't happening anytime soon. Which is why I'm here again today to vent basically. 😝

I don't have the motivation to do anything anymore. Everything that I've been doing these past few years are just to be able to support my family and I mean reaalllyy support the whole family. I really wish I could start doing something that I actually like doing again. That thing is writing.

I think for now this is all I can do. I want to be creative in my writing but after learning a lot about creative writing it made me think a lot and overthink things to a point I just put down my pen/pencil and stop writing.

I really miss those days when I write from the heart and nothing else matters. I would just write and write until I finish a chapter and be satisfied with it even with grammatical errors (a lot of it in those days) and feel like I've accomplished something.

Yes, learning about writing made me more aware of the things I need to consider. It also makes me want to write something that isn't just a mere writing but a form of art. It made me feel inspired and it filled me with so much to look forward to when I'm writing.

But that also made me disappointed when I can achieve all these things. When I realize that I need to put a lot of thought into it to make what I'm writing make sense in a fictional way. Sometimes it doesn't have to be fictional. It can be real. But I couldn't see past all these things and just write.

For now, this is all I can do. This post is as real as it gets. These are my raw thoughts without filters, without edits, without rewrites. This is real.



CK Salma

After All These Years 😅

Hey, peeps!!

I haven't written an entry for my blog in a long time. Today's entry is different from my other entries.

My brother wrote a short poem and I thought it has an awesome meaning to it. Also, inspiring in its own way.

So, as a request from him, I'll be posting his short poem around to see its feedback.

Hope you enjoy my brother's poem!


Title: Because I Can Never Be

I can never be what I want to be,
Because I can be what you wanted me to be,
I can never be what they hope me to be,
Because I can be what I dream to be.

Credit to: Sunny the Snail

Important Announcement!!!!!!!!

Hey peeps!!!

It's been a while. I've been busy with final exams and finishing up my assignments but it's over now.

Also, my adventure series I talked about on my last post is currently in Chapter 4 and my short story might be done by next month if I get to work on it more often.

I've been in a constant reading mode for the past few weeks and I can proudly say that I have read and finished tons of books on the website Wattpad.

You still remember that site, right?

Just so you know the annual watty awards on that site has started since June and I was thinking of entering using my adventure series.

I'm still not sure because the terms are that I need to have at least 3 chapters written and updated in 2015. That's the exact amount of chapters I have right now.

The deadline is August 31st. So, we'll see what happens. I'm still working on the fourth chapter right now.

I better get back to it. But first, I need some rest. I just washed my bathroom and I was suffocated in there with the smell of bleach.

I might throw up but I'm too tired to find out what I will do.

So, All The Best and...

Roger and Out.

Sincerely,
CKSalmaICM

A Short Story and An Adventure Series

How's it going peeps?!

Okay, straight to the point. My short story is kind of half-way done and there's a new story I've been working on.

I left it for a while and recently I've been able to continue writing it. I'm on chapter 2 now.

I can give you guys a preview but decide to just give you a brief synopsis of the story.

The story is about a girl who finds herself able to travel through different dimensions and was gifted with the four elements power.

No, she's not the avatar.

Anyway, at first it was confusing but then as her adventures starts to get serious, that's when she finally learns the truth about herself.

This story might end up with a few books but every book will be like a mini novel.

I don't plan on showing you the first chapter yet because I want to have at least half of the story done first.

Anyway, for my short story, it's kind of a love story. So, yeah, don't worry, it's not too cliché of a love story.

I guess that's it. At least I gave you an update. So.....

All The Best and...

Roger and Out...

Sincerely,
CKSalmaICM.

Graduation / Convocation Day In The Rain

Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Exactly what the title said!

It was raining!!!!!! Currently my favourite weather somehow....

And.....

I am now officially graduated from UiTM. Though I'm technically still here pursuing my Degree. I only just recently graduated from Diploma in Creative Writing.

Best part of the day?

Just simply being there, seeing old friends -though their not so old-, having both my parents with me and most of all, knowing that my accomplishment is the work of Allah.

I wouldn't have been able to do anything without His guidance, literally.

There were times when I just want to give up, when I want nothing to do with any of this but I was constantly reminded of my parents, their sacrifices for me, all the hardwork they've gone through to get me to where I am now.

He is the only One able to remind me of all of this and with that in mind, I finished my Diploma and I was able to make my parents proud of me, happy for me.

Happiest day of my life?

Yeah!

On the side note, be sure to stay tuned for a short story I'm currently writing. Don't worry, this one will definitely be finished within a few more months. I would say within this month but then I'd be lying. :-P

The story is already almost halfway through. So, hopefully by next month it would be completed.

Anyways, time to talk in codes so that only I could understand this.

Saw people, too much pressure, thought it'd be normal but it was abnormal. Cannot look at the sky, the universe made me question whether it hates me or not. Dun, dun dun. I remember again, cannot stop thinking. Hope it will fade again. Until then.

So, All The Best And...

Roger and Out...

Sincerely,
CKSalmaICM

Collecting Collections

So, does the title sound right?

Haha..

I think so. Recently that is what I've been doing. I've been gathering all of my works into one book. I wanted to make sure that I have a copy of all of them.

I don't really have much to say.
If I have to think of everything that I can talk about, then I guess I can start with MUET.

Yeah, I have recently taken the test and it was surprisingly easy yet hard in a way. Also, the tale is that I didn't take my speaking test at the test centre I was assigned to.

I took it somewhere else and I thought I was going to be all like too shy to talk to anyone there. The opposite happened.

We were informed of our groups and we sat together. We started to discuss on what to do and we decided to practice together on speaking and it was cool.

I was able to talk to them freely even though it feels like that was all an act. Of course, I knew it wasn't going to last. Our bond, I mean. Yeah, we bonded, but the possibility of seeing each other and actually getting along in real life was really low.

So, I decided to get along for the test and completely forget about them. Obviously, it is very unsuccessful.

I still do remember them. Oh!!!!!!!
Funny thing was that they were younger than me!!!!
No one realized this until they asked me what I was taking.

Haha...
They were shocked to know that I was older than them.

Anyway, for the writing test of MUET, I decided to take it at the test centre I was assigned to and I was utterly shocked to see a certain flower there.

I was so sure I wasn't going to see anyone anymore for a really long time and suddenly I saw her. Lilies.
Yeah, I purposely spelled the name of the flower. I don't know how to spell her name.

But, yeah, that's who I met there. I was shocked but the thing is I only knew her; I wasn't that close to her.

So, yeah. That's what happened. Now I just have to wait for the result.

I hate waiting!!!

XP

 So, All The Best and. . .

Roger and Out. . .

Sincerely,
CKSalmaICM